Sing me to sleep.
Sing to me gently.

Let's see. Rainy morning, forgot Sneha's yearbook by leaving it in the car, met Rachel, walked in. Nice weather though. IH lecture (: Quite okay. Break. Then Bio. Quite amusing. Ball-Stick modelling. Heh. The ball dropped! Hahaha. Anyway, GC next. Mr Han did a spot check. Got sent to tuck in my shirt along with the few others. ;D Haha. Job shadowing was amusing. Esp. Eugene's. Then it was lunch. Haha found out my band members. Then it was free period. Studied math. Then, it was Math. (x then Physics. Quite okay i guess.

Then after school, met up with Shujun, found out jamming prices, listened to songs, tried to figure out what to sing, walked around the school.

Met up with Rachel, then Liyana. Saw Wenlin and Pauline. Then went back with shujun, sneha and bandana. Heh. Sneha gave me such an interesting story on the bus home (x
Then i talked to theo who also was on the bus. xDD
Then it was home.

I'm free now. But i can't sleep.
What shit. This sucks. I'm going to be one dead zombie tmr. Lol.
Byee.

The xerox copy she took,
of his heart.
It never was the same,
since they went apart.

Feeling what was felt,
back in time,
Leaves nothing to feel,
after a while.

I have started on my IH essay. Question 2 (: Then, i'm off to study maths. Thanks to Wendy, i realised there is a bio pop quiz for us coming up. As in for Mr Nah's classes. I'm not sure about the rest. Hmph.

I'm glad my dad's interested in all the War & Society stuff. Easier to get information(:
Thanks Shujun (: For finding out for me you know what!
And sneha, thanks for being the song critic. And you are funny, when you threaten. Lalalala. I'm high.

Finally, Cherie and I are not pregnant anymore. Lol xD 3 weeks man. 3 weeks.

School's going to be stressful. For the next 2 weeks. Gosh so many things to do.
See you then!
Must get cracking on homework.

The xerox copy she took,
of his heart.
It never was the same,
since they went apart.

Feeling what was felt,
back in time,
Leaves nothing to feel,
after a while.

I have started on my IH essay. Question 2 (: Then, i'm off to study maths. Thanks to Wendy, i realised there is a bio pop quiz for us coming up. As in for Mr Nah's classes. I'm not sure about the rest. Hmph.

I'm glad my dad's interested in all the War & Society stuff. Easier to get information(:
Thanks Shujun (: For finding out for me you know what!
And sneha, thanks for being the song critic. And you are funny, when you threaten. Lalalala. I'm high.

Finally, Cherie and I are not pregnant anymore. Lol xD 3 weeks man. 3 weeks.

School's going to be stressful. For the next 2 weeks. Gosh so many things to do.
See you then!
Must get cracking on homework.

It's nice, to regain what I have lost in me.
It feels like sooner or later, the puzzle would fit. Once again.

It's God's way of showing, that if I can make my way through it, I've matured, I've allowed myself to be a better person.

That's how God works his magic. On his children on Earth. Everyone has his or her own story. Everyone has his or her own experiences. And in the end, one thing they all have in common, sooner or later, they learn.

Some take longer than others. Some understand quicker than you can imagine. While others mull it over, but get over with it, sooner or later. I guess letting go of a bad experience, or bad time in your life, is not the easiest thing to do.

But I'm glad, I've finally been able to look at it from another angle. Bad experiences help people to understand different things in life. They help one learn from his or her mistakes, or warn them. It's a matter of whether you want to listen or not.

I hope in a few years' time, we can all look back, and see how far we've come and gone through. See the many hurdles we've crossed, the many detours we had to make. In the end, I guess, it'll all be worth it.

That's growing up.
A hard experience.
But when you do it the right way, it pays off.

I'm glad i've been able to laugh at painful things. Finally. See how others remain in square one, lagging where the past resides. And i've moved on.

I hope everyone moves on sooner or later. I hope everyone has experiences that shape the person in them.

Life.
I'm sorry for those who take their own lives.
It's a waste. Great waste.
Of what God has given to you.

your hand is all i have,
to keep me hanging on.

Haha. I needed a good rest to wake up to reality.
Now I get what Louisa was talking about.
This whole thing is like "Woah. What just happened"
Shujun dearest, this is for you arh!
For you to attend youknowwhat(:

Liyana, why are you so BUSY! ):
How to jam. Haha.

We'll see how this whole thing goes.

I shall study maths soon.
My aunt is over at my house. I shall study like a nerd.
Who yo nerd yo!
(:

Man. Haha. Cherie & Avril must know how i was whining last night.
I CANNOT I CANNOT. I shall persevere? =/ I can. Hopefully.

And congrats to Airbus! ;D For Battle of the Bands.
Rock on! As usual.((:



Suddenly you're mine,
And it's brighter than sunshine.
<3

School was okay!

Geog test, surprisingly, doable (:
Break was the usual.
Geog lesson was time badly spent.
Math Lecture ;DD
TOOT-TONE! I-TOOT! omg Mr Eng is so cute (:
"You seem very popular today"
HAHAHA xD

Then Gc. Presented that shittyass thing.
Whatever lah huh.
Haha.

Tamil was boring.
Cos half the time the teacher was dozing off.
Cos he hadn't slept one bit the whole night.
Cos he was at the hospital.
Cos his neighbour had some injury/health problem.
And thus, he was dozing off when i was reading.
How very polite.
;D

Then it was physics.
Damn .....
Miss Ong seemed a bit pms-y today?
Maybe she's pissed off today =(
I like the nice Miss Ong.
HAHA.

Lunch was good.
Like FINALLY FOOD.
Met up with Shujun.
Talked about Grad. Night.
Checked out THE classroom (;
Shujunn, must find out for me kayy?
:D
Then discussed stuff with Lou, rach, avril, cherie and all.
Then it was ... LA.
Eugh.
Boredom.
Then once LA ended, Shiqi Theo and i rushed to the loo.
WHATEVER LAH THEO.
IT WAS ONE BOTTLE OF ICE LEMON TEA.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT.
hahahah.
;D

Then stupid Spire.
was a terrible bore.
Sam & i were amusing ourselves on MSN.
And you're the bimbo, NOT ME.
:D

Then after sch, walked down with av,
then rachel wanted to rush to kap and chuyun had to meet someone, so we went out of sch tgt.
LOL i'm glad you managed to meet up with that friend of yours, rach (:
If not... MAN. poor you.

I feel happy.
Oh happy day.

School was fine i guess.
Watching Rgps girls have their napfa, and their amusing logic when it comes to running.
Phototaking was fun((: Besides the fact that seniors were looking down at us from the library and laughing at us. Thanks. 06ip02! ;D The kicking-guys picture was funny

Then it was Tamil.
Can't believe i've got 28 words to form sentences for! But i'm done with 23. Yay! But at least he was nice enough to let us sleep for a while knowing we were dead tired. Maths was okay. I UNDERSTAND. (: Then lunch. With rachel cherie and avril who came later. Stayed back.
Rachel went off after a while. Hung out with cherie. Met shuyu. Met Denise and listened to her constant gushes over YOUKNOWWHO =D. Then had to leave. Sadly couldn't talk to Avril much cos she was at her Exco meeting. Thank you my escort Cherie!

-

Sometimes, talking is not always the way. I realised that for me, quiet is often my comfort zone.
Funny, when i think about it. I used to be a constant chatterbox, and especially annoyed the Nerdy Amalina of 2004 who kept telling me to keep quiet, or shut up. (:

I guess it's true. People change. For the better or the worse. And the best thing to do, is to move along with it. Sometimes questioning the change isn't going to help. Because you're the one who will be remaining in square one, whilst everyone has already moved on.

Acceptance is the key. To many things. Holding on can be a chore. I know it myself.

I have learnt.
Now I don't feel a sense of faint hatred, when I see you with people you said you dislike. Though it is not very nice to lie to me, just to be on both sides.
But I shall remain ignorant. If that's how you handle friendships, sure.
I shall accept it, just don't expect me to be extra nice.
Doesn't happen.
At least, not in my books.

Hello world (:

Swimming pe was okay. Pretty fun i guess. Thanks to Jun for helping me! xD And i miraculously broke my goggles, before the lesson started. Smart huh?

Came back, had Andy & Avril annoy me with the " Shianneh HeyShanti Shianneh Heyshanti" Thing -.-. Had some food. Went for IH. (: I enjoy IH seriously. It's very fun.
Then it was Ma1102. I can proudly tell you that i understand the topic very well! I'm happy. The crossword puzzle pop quiz was so cute x) Theo, Shiqi & I got second. -screams. Okay not a big deal. Heh.

Bio (: It was quite okay. I kept popping Mentos into my mouth to keep awake. Mr Nah lets us copy so i get sleepy. Lol. Kidney Dialysis still makes me feel terribly queasy. :X

LA was quite boring. I was having gastric pains. Hur.

Personal Mentorship was okay. We didn't know we had to do Jobshadowing. Lol. So we got kind of scolded, then Mr Han let us do our own things. Had the one-one session with Mr Han. It was like what, 30, 40minutes? I had a headache after it. Haha.
Then did some math. (: Homework Set 2!

Then after sch, went with Avril and Cherie bought food and drinks and sat down. Then i went home with Noomie :D I love you Noomie! Haha.

It's best not to involve yourself too much.
That way, you will keep yourself from hurt.
And unneccessary troubles.

Tomorrow is half day. Which means i'm coming to school for Phototaking, Tamil, and Ma1103. Wth. Pathetic half day if you ask me.

I want to watch The Lake House. (x
And I want to study for IS1105.
Go me.

I feel happier. Though my head feels terrible, with everything on it right now. I still feel happier. I shall take your advice. That i shall. (:

I felt the calm,
Looking into your eyes.

Need to go rush my homework for IS, IH & LA.
So i shall hurry with this post.

Today.
Homeroom was nothing much.
LA was boring
IH was quite fun.
Ma1103 wasn't depressing, surprisingly.
I was laughing. (:
Lunch was okayy..
Tamil was pretty much crap.
And Geog, was okay i guess
The PBL thing.

Aft. school, couldn't go with the others.
Stayed with sneha at the library.
((: We shall tell each other stuff more often.
Feels better.
Then i felt super hungry
and so did she.
So we went to KAP.
Omg. HAPPY MEAL! (: HAHAHA
The stupid bobbing head thing :P
And sneha's funny thing with the straw.

I <3 you!

We saw Chuyun and gang at KAP too.
The world is small!
HAHA okay, duh. its KAP.

Okay. Off to do my homework.
Roar.

Before i leave,
A special note to someone:

I've known you long enough. I enjoyed our friendship because I was able to confide in you and get constructive advice and you made me feel better. Then others come along. You leave. Then we're okay again. And we never stop that routine we have. But now, I can't tolerate you sometimes. It's sad. You're politically correct till the extent that you are too frank that you're oblivious to how others may feel about what you say.
I hope you think about that.
If you think the world does you wrong,
Please think again.
Because if you had a taste of your own medicine,
You would know what I am talking about.

It's not the best thing, to have someone rubbing it in all day long.
When others would be caring enough to console.

Is this the place we used to love?

I'm talking to Joanna now, and i realised how badly i missed her. Best friends since primary school. Our little birthday parties, saying how guys were jerks/cooties, singing Linkin Park like nuts when other people did not seem to like it, and even though we weren't in the same class, we still managed to be close 'cos of Tamil.

Then we talked about Clarabelle, Khairunnisa, Maria. The clique of five (: Those were the days man. Those were the days. Now each of us have gone our seperate ways. One in Crescent, (Model arh you xP), Another in TK (My cute dearie), And yet another in RGS (the girl i never get to see, and miss a whole damn lot).
And of course, Jo, in st margs'.

It saddens me, to realise, I'll never get those fun times back again. In primary school. When you couldn't care less about many things. I remember the three canteen stalls. I remember the small tiny school that contained only 3 classes per level. I remember the leaking cabins, where we had our Tamil lessons. I remember the Deepavali dramas i did, and have been the main character for them thrice. I remember the art lessons i used to despise, esp. the teacher, because she was oh-so-naggy =P. I remember Mrs Cheng from primary 1, who always made me feel good about myself. I loved her. I remember Mrs Wong, who referred me for IP. Thank you. I remember Zoe making me my birthday present, out of clay, which i still have (: I remember the surprise party i had in P6 for my birthday.

I remember many things.
And the thing i miss most, are the friends.
It's fun. Talking to friends from schools you have already left.
Like my mgs friends.
Sometimes, when you're further apart, the friendship strengthens.
When you're too close, more complications occur.
I rather have the simple.
But that would mean, i would miss my friends alot.
Oh well.

It was fun, to be carefree & innocent.
And when friendship was just the I don't friend you, manner.
Now, it's evolved into something i can't even describe myself.

That's why people always say.
Treasure it when you're young.
You'll miss it, when you grow up.
And all you would have are the memories.
To keep you going.

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

I just visited KM. And all i can think of saying right now is , "GO AND DIE"
Because our class will be missing 10minutes of our free period to go for Phototaking. 12.30 to 12.40. Roar.
Very smart lah some people.

I'm still contemplating if i should cut my hair.
I think i will.
Like later today.
I'll be terribly sleepy though.
Fall asleep while the person butchers my hair away. How terrifying.

Somewhere only we know.

Why is that now, when i think about you, dislike's gone?
(:


Waking up, felt better than trying to sleep. Bad nights. Bad thoughts.

Anyway, left the house by 11.10 to meet up with Avril&Cherie ((: Haha Avril gave me a hug! We missed you! Poo.

Sadly Rachel couldn't come =( Oh well.

Then we proceeded to buy food at Kopitiam. That stupid vanilla coke can. It was like you know, showing favourtism to CHERIE. Fine lah fine lah. Heh ((:

Then we went on to the cinemas, managed to get the 12.50 show.
The Lake House trailer made Avril & I cry. Gosh, i am definitely going to catch it.
Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock make a good couple.
And they're terrific actors.

Pirates <33333 I love the movie. Though the ending was, like Wtf. I enjoy watching Captain Jack Sparrow (: Depp's so hot. And freaking hilarious. I think Cherie got amused by Avril and i cos we kept laughing super badly. I think we were the loudest in the cinema. And sometimes, Avril would be the only one laughing. We so do not know her. We just happen to sit by her side. (= Keira Knightley argh. Hate her now. Haha. SHE REQUESTED FOR A KISSING SCENE LIKE WTF. And Ben, she's so not BIG. you blind! =P

After the movie, we went on to Starbucks to study. HAHA SORRY AVRIL. I'm a bad tutor. And i can't rmb alot of things. I shall lend you my notes though. We saw _____. Haha i shocked Cherie and Avril a bit, when i spotted that person. Sharp eyes =D though 171 seems like 961 half the time. ((: Then Cherie pok had to leave. =(

Then Avril and i rushed to the toilet, then walked around. The shopping centre. NOT THE TOILET. Anyway, i like Dhoby Exchange. ((: The earrings <3

Thanks for the cash Av. Today was a fun day. Thank you Avril & Cherie. And thanks to Cherie too, for not taking anything against me, after last night's terrible convo. I appreciate it.

So much for temporary distant mode.

Deep self reflection could be the cure to all this confusion.

Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be

I guess, tonight, I finally start to understand.

Reminscing constantly about good times, is okay. Memories are there to remember. They are there to remind you about the past, the mistakes, the gifts, the people, the decisions. However, memories cannot hinder your moving on. From something you are bound to let go of.

When this 'something' happens to be friendship, memories get in the way. The thought of how what had been should be able to remain the same with effort, tends to lead us into confusion. Sometimes, we are lost. Unaware whether moving on is the only option.

Then forgiveness falls into place. But forgiving does not involve forgetting. However, if you're able to forgive what's been done, is it always a must to revert back to what had been? Or is it a sign to start anew. Or to just stay in touch, and not risk being hurt again.

Some say friendship is about give & take. Some say it is best to let go of those who have shown who they can truly be, be it criticisers or badmouthers, etc. Others say friends come and go, and you just have to accept it the way it has been for centuries.

Which would you believe?

Give&Take is not always easy when others take advantage of your weakness.

Letting go is not easy one bit, with constant memories flooding your mind, reminding you that if you could work it then, you could work it now.

And those who say friends come and go and that's the way it is, I don't want to agree with it. Because friendships are what teaches us. About many things in life. Especially at a tender age of fifteen. When we're emotionally unstable at times, and easily influenced by what we experience.

Maybe this year will prove to be a good lesson about life.

It isn't always a clear-cut path, and sometimes our decisions in life can make or break our security. But there are always people along this distorted pathway, to help you along each step. They can be your friends, your enemies, your parents, your siblings, your neighbours, your teachers, your colleagues, your employers, etc. They can be anyone. The many people who come into our lives, make an impact no matter how long they remain in our lives.

So maybe, it's best not to bear grudges against those who do you wrong, because in the end, you're benefitting. You're learning from their mistakes, you're learning from what they try to do to you.

And this learning or understanding, is crucial.
Always.

Today was okay.
(:

I totally enjoy Mr Heah's IS1105 Lectures. He's so damn hilarious! He and his orange umbrella!
"I hate the smell of plasticine (smells fingers) EEEE (in a high voice)"
HEH. xD Joey and I laughed alot at that.
I can't wait for the next lecture (x
Though there is a quiz then.
Break was boredom.
IS1105 tutorial was okay, model making was okay too. Haha we used cards to cut the plasticine. -.- Oh well.
Trigo Test can go hang itself.
GC was okay, watching presentations for Job Shadowing.
Lunch, basically stoned, went down with Wendy to buy food, went back up, and stoned during Lunch and Free period while smsing Avril. Then, LA test. It was fine.
SPIRE. Hai. Our group is pretty much screwed. Come on we can do it! Surveys! Research! Candles! ((:
Progress report shit.

After school, went for Drama. Sitting next to Shujun is torturous! You molestor! AH! And i had to be her constant pillow. =( Hehe. The exco elections were okay i guess. Yay Bianca's the new drama president. Heh, Cherie & I were commenting on that.

Sorry jun! I forgot to tell you i got to stay back in the end.
Stayed back with Cherie till 7plus. We saw Eugene playing hockey. Lol.
xD Then we went for dinner at KAP.
We are such last minute people.

Doing netball drills with a volleyball was dumb =P
And all the running up and down we did to .....
Let's keep it a secret huh?
;D

Then went home.
Ladeedaa.

Sheena, i want to talk to you too!
(:

I never told you how much i need you.
Though i say it in my head all the time.

Stop lying.
Gosh.


School was ... okay.
Celebrated Kenneth's birthday with Shuyu, Cherie & Joey.
CHUYUN CAME LATE! ORH HOR.
Poor Avril couldn't be there.
The cake was super creamy.
=/
Happy birthday kenneth!

Tamil, was ... urgh.
Now i have to sing for some singing competition next friday.
Hopefully Apurva & I do well ((:
He made us clean the whiteboard, cos of all the permanent marker writings by the little kids ystd. Oh god, it took uber long. Gosh. And we couldn't finish erasing it away. Then, we did some work. I think now he'll give us a set of words to do every lesson. Sentence making is good though, like Cherie said.
Maths, i was stoning pretty much.
I didn't go for lunch, stayed to do Mi.
Mi was okay. Theo & I kept asking Mrs Yap questions ((: But we learnt! Heh! And we were pretty close to the right answer. Yeah man!
Mi lecture was pretty okay. At least i understood most of it. I wish we could watch more of Gandhi though. Oh well.

After school, stayed back with Cherie to study for LA and Maths.
I think it was pretty productive. I hope i can crap my way through LA tomorrow.
Then we went home.
Omg. I completely fell asleep on the bus. Sorry Cherie! I didn't know you got off the bus. SORRY! )): And i didn't wake up till the last stop. Thank you to the Unknown NJC guy. :D For waking me up. Omg lah, i was like the last passenger on the bus. So darn embarrassing. At least he was nice enough to wake me up. If i'm not wrong, the driver was actually calling me to wake me up. LOL.
OOPS =X

I was so damn stone walking home.
Reached home, watched Ellen, ate dinner.
Yay (:

Standing around, giving the eye,
I saw you, and thought with a smile,
If only.

;D

No, darling, it's not about you.
I don't care about you.
(:

Today was pretty fun. I guess. Comm. Service day. Mostly slacked. Can't blow balloons for nuts. Went to help with decor at LT1. Took quite a bit of pics. Heh, Sharon and her outfit! You're a famous star amongst the kids now! The kids were damn amusing. Cherie & I kept laughing at what crap they were talking. There was this very adorable girl in front of us, who had two missing front teeth xD How cute.

Where did i go wrong?
I lost a friend.
Somewhere along in the bitterness.

I'm glad we're okay.
At least, if not yesterday,
We are today.

After the concert, waited in sch for the rain to end. And Rachel, Cherie & I went off to Orchard. It's okay Rach, go with your mom to buy your shoes! She'll make sure you get a nice pair! ((: Then we hung around at Wisma, then we went to Popular/Sembawang. Heh. It's kind of sad that we can't get the non-mainstream band cds in Sembawang or CD Rama. Then Rachel decided to go to Cine herself, so Cherie & I went to Plaza Sing to get my handphone earphones! (: Finally. Then we ate at Pizza Hut.

We did a little roaming around. I absolutely love Spotlight's curtains section. Haha Cherie and I were talking about how we would decorate our houses. Long way to go huh?
;D

Outfitter Girls better get their next batch of clothes in! I'm sick of the same ol' shirts.
The wallets are pretty nice though.

And I would be needing money to buy more printed tees. (x
Yaye.

Then we left after that.
The bus ride home was so tiring.
I nearly fell out of my chair twice, while sleeping.
Lol. I pity the person next to me.
Probably hit her or something. =P
Oh well.

Sing me to sleep,
You sing to me gently.

And i'm not alone.

Avril! Hurry up and get back soon!
Must watch POTC! ((:

It's sad, really.
I wanted to believe you would change your ways.
But, in the end, you always become the bitch,
you've always been.

It's sad for you though.
Not me.
Pity bitching's all you can do.

Today was pretty fun! (x
Homeroom was ... Yeah.
LA was boring but it's fun to volunteer answers.
IH was quite good watching the video, and formulating questions.
Maths was okay. It was quite easy, so far.
Lunch was fun as usual.
Went back to class, rushed Tamil homework.
Tamil was okay. I think we just crap our way through lessons.
Mode of passing time, speaking tamil, and talking about "Who inspires you"
I don't even know myself.
I just said Lee Kuan Yew.
Heh. Typical Singaporean.

Geography <3!
I actually enjoy listening to Miss Ting.
(Or is it a Mrs?)
She's very knowledgable.
And it's fun watching movies.
And knowing real life stories, and examples
Must research on fold mountains and volcanoes by Friday.
Poo.

After sch, hung out with Cherie & Rachel.
We did netball from 4smth to 6smth.
Then halfway, we met Shujun.
Then after netball, the four of us went home together.
(x

And Leo told me The Fray broke up.
Wtf! No way! Gosh. =(

Run with the wild horses.

Thinking 'bout what i've given up.
Where are you now?

Today was okay i guess. Had a hard time waking up =(
IH lecture, was amusing because of the video. Mouldy bread? Eww.
And i left my pen at the LT. great, -.-'''
Break, did nothing much.
Is1107, Mr Nah's quite good at teaching and at least he has patience. He's taught us the same thing over and over again! Heh. And sometimes i still don't understand. :( And i realised, I should never do practicals with Chuyun. Our whole table was getting wet with Water and Sucrose. Heh. But the cute kangkong curled into one circle. ((:

GC was the career quiz thing. Do i look like a speech therapist to you? Or a bartender? Or a waitress? Or a Wine Steward (Wth is that?!) . I almost died, looking at the 'abilities'. Bartending, sureeee. At least Cherie got it too.

Mr Han cut into our lunch, got scolded. Oh well. Lunch was okay. Then went back to class, did a little bit of LA and most of the class left for Humans. lecture.
Then, Mr Eng came in, confiscated my phone, we had lessons, he gave Hung my phone, decided to return it to me incase of parent complaints, and we had a game for Venn Diagrams. I quite enjoy his lessons (= At least, I am awake, surprisingly.

Physics, was just stoning mostly. And watching Yile play this chinese game. Quite amusing. The character moves TOO SLOW. Omg, i have no patience to play a game like that.

Then went home.

Saw _______.
Looking away doesn't hide your face.
Unfortunately.
Rather not see your face.
Asshole.
(Rachel would say: why do you call people VOIDS. ;D)

Not bad a day i should say.

Went out with my dad to do some shopping for neccessities.
Got my degree goggles, got the harry potter 6th book. I must reread it actually. I don't remember what happened at all. Must have been the speed at which i read it.
15.90's a good price really. For a 45dollar book. (=
Then tried to search for Spire stuff. Was super difficult to find, luckily, Hung found the materials before all of us. Thank you Hung! We owe you big for Spire! For doing the proposal and getting the materials.
xD

Watched most of The Terminal last night. It was pretty touching. But i guess, Steven Spielberg mostly does good films.
Then i watched Mr & Mrs Smith today. Man, it was good. But the ending sucked. Abrupt. Oh well.

Those who are seriously bored & in need of good laughs,
Go to Youtube and search for Whose Line Is It Anyway.
It's a fantastic show, and yeah avril, i'm sad they don't have it anymore.
=( The props section of the show is especially funny.

Finally did the seating plan thing for Mr. Eng.
Haha i hope he accepts it. LOL.

Let's see my to-do list.

1. Tamil Project & Sentence Making.
2. LA1102 Comprehenshion & research for the test.
3. Trigo revision and practice
4. Bio wksht and revision
5. Physics research.
6. Geography wksht
7. Maths Journal Writing (Must start i guess)
8. IH reading. Lol.

Which means, I'm dead.
I don't do my work at all.
And i lost my LA wksht.
Great.

So not a surprise,
when i feel the same way.

Fake veneers to hide the face of evil.
A brush upon the cheek,
There's barely security.

Hardly warm, rarely smooth,
The voice of evil, in the phonebooth.
Hissing into your ears,
Swallowing dimes without working.

The evil goes on for years,
The creep lives amongst us.
If reality was disturbing,
this would be sick.


My parents just went out. I hope they come back faster with the lunch for today. Then i have to go and check out stuffs for Spire. (: I hope our project works out. I do. I must do tamil soon. Stupid freaking project. I want to kill him. Sorry.

I don't know what I'll do after jc. I mean yeah, I am planning to go backpacking around the world, as my friend was telling me how it was for her. Maybe i should rephrase. I don't know what i'll do in life. Arts person, yea. But what can i do?
I know I won't do something for the money, but more for the satisfaction. So that's where the rich husband or ever-wonderful parents come in to support me.

Journalism.
I could always start off as an intern for a magazine.

I guess i've never been the whole , Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, sort of person.

Poets/Lyricists.
A very enjoyable job for me.

Reporters/ Correspendents
I don't know, maybe.

A creative writer.
Remaking classics, maybe.

If i ever take up photography as a hobby,
I'll think about it.
I've been wanting to do photography for the longest time.


Wild Horses by Natasha Bedingfield is a beautiful song.

I don't know if i should be angry or ignorant.
Right behind me, and you won't talk.
Right after I appear on, you talk.
Thanks.

Today was pretty fun i guess.
Lithosphere is quite fun to learn about. (x Did it somewhat last time in Mg.
The Core! Omg we have like 5pathetic minutes left or something. And we had to stop because of Ma1102.
Ma1102, hilarious as usual. Mr Eng's funny like hell. And i'm finall getting the hang of the sets thing. xD
GC was briefing for Community Service Day.
Didn't see the point of moving infront. Couldn't see a thing whatsoever.
I was blocked by a few people -.-
Tamil was okay. It's getting better, slowly.
And it was odd having to discuss ideas with Arthi in full tamil.
Just plain weird. I guess, i have to start speaking more in tamil if i want to improve.

Lunch ((: Great as usual.
Free period, was okay i guess.
Mr Eng came in for a while, and because of Rachel's beautiful poem for me on my locker, He drew her a picture of Pink Poo on a piece of paper and put it on her locker. Thanks Mr eng!
And i totally forgot about the Seating Plan. Gosh, i had to do it last minute.
" After so many reminders, i get this. -shakes head. So how do i read it?"
LOL you have to be there to get the joke. :P

LA. i dunno where my compre went off to. So i don't know how i'll do my homework. =/
Then Spire. Oh boy, don't wanna talk about it.

Then after school, went with Rachel And Cherie out of the school. And walked for quite a bit. Then we went back to school, walked around the track, sat at the shelter, did canoeing thing -.-, did situps/crunches, and finally started our "Netball Training" I CAN FINALLY MAKE THE BALL ENTER THE HOOP! HAHAHA. Sounds wrong. Anyway.

We did netball till 6.30, then we went up.
We met Miss Oon and talked to her till about 7.15, and we walked out together.
Then Cherie so nicely waited with me for the 67 that came at like 7.50 and i reached home at 8.30. -.- I met my primary school junior on the bus! So cute! She's grown up! ((:

I like today's afterschool events <3

Btw. Rachel is one hazardous girl. She throws the ball in such a way, that she injures me alot of times. In many areas. Thanks arh woman.
Lucky nothing hurts anymore. If not i'll blame you when CERTAIN THINGS HAPPEN.

The age of fifteen.

Haha no, it's not my birthday. Sounds like it though. Like the year in retrospect or something. But i only become 15 in november.

This year's taught me alot. About so many things. Friendship, Trust, Family, Integrity, Leadership, Tolerance, Patience, etc. Mostly, friendship & trust. They tie in together mostly. 6 and a half months have passed being in NJCip. And i don't think there's ever been a year with more events than this one. If I had to list everything, i would take long. Really long.

Be it about someone, or myself, or old friends, or new ones. I realise I'm always worrying about one or the other. No Nirvana yet, i guess. That'll be hard to achieve. And as some of my friends know, i tend to overworry. But most of the time, my instincts don't fail me. That's why i regret not following my instincts sometimes. Bad mistake, but sometimes what my instincts tell me, aren't the best things to feel.

Friendship. I still won't know how to explain it properly without breaks.
To some, it's companionship. Someone to hang out with, someone to talk with, someone to laugh with.
To some, it's a game. I have a friend. I find someone better. I drop the old friend and go for the new one.
To some it's a touch-me-not. Being alone is something some prefer. Friendship causes alot of troubles, though with smiles&laughter.
And to others, it's just being there.

It's the feeling that someone is there for you no matter what, and won't break that trust. Even if you don't talk for ages, you know you can talk to them again, knowing they're willing to take you back. Willing to build the friendship that used to be there, again. Of course, best friends forever, don't really exist. Problems&Fights always occur. Everyone is different. Some can accept, while others can't. And it takes some time, for others to realise that acceptance is the key sometimes. And compromise with acceptance may be a good choice as well.

Taking care of one another in time of need, in time of despair. Being there for each other, be it the good times, or the bad. Taking the effort to mend the mess, even if reciprocation comes or not.

Sometimes it's too much to ask. Sometimes you already have someone like that, beside you, behind you, with you.

Some never know what friendship really is.
Some never accept their mistakes because they're always right.
Some take friendship for granted, and find faults later.
I guess, time will teach.
I hope.

Perception of friends will constantly change. No doubt.
But if the knowing that the friend is always there, no matter what, still exists,
just know, it'll be fine.
No matter how long it'll take.
A few days, A week, A month, A few months, or maybe even a year.

I'll be okay.
So will you.

I treasure you guys. Alot.
My friends. Thanks.

And I treasured you,
But things screwed up.
I hope it'll be fine.


P.S. Sneha, everything will be okay! Don't be so overloaded with everything ((x

School was fun.
Tamil, did comprehenshion and summary. =S
Maths, did the quadrant thing. Pretty easy.
Man&Ideas, Mrs Yap is so damn fast, but quite nice.
Mrs Tan's lecture was okay too.
After school, was with sneha.
Went home with Liyana.
Yay! Must do ppt slides soon.
Did my reflection log long!

Misleading me into confusion.
Thanks for locking yourself away.
It's better when the door is closed.

Talking on MSN is not like how it is to talk face-to-face.
What's even more irritating is when you talk so much with someone online, but face-to-face, zilch. Like nothing ever happens.
Don't initiate, if you don't plan to be real.
It's annoying me, and really pissing me off.
You suck.

Anyway school was okay today.
Swimming pe was -.-''' because i was not comfortable swimming in the deep pool so ended up at Beginner. But ... it was so BEGINNER. At least the coach dude referred to Theo, Amalina, Liyana and I as intermediates. ((x Who have low confidence. HAHA OH WELL WHATEVER.

IH was quite fun i guess. I like War & Society.
And the ape thing ... Sorry lah, i was confused!
And humans coming from ONE APE is a bit impossible.
-.-
Maths was okay. Mr Eng gave me a weird look when he saw my pop quiz marks.
But he's a good teacher! i understood!
IS1107 was a little boring. But he can teach, if you listen carefully.
LA was pretty okay. Short story was quite nice.
The lame game =/ HAHA oh well.
No lunch whatsoever. God.
Personal Mentorship. Which was practically nothing.
Caal. House session was okay i guess.

After school went for drama for a little while.
Then stayed back with Cherie for fun.
Haha we went to the grandstand and sat and talked.
Then Xiangyin came by for a while and talked with us.
Then she went off, we went walking!
I like that spot under all the trees, playing familiar One Tree Hill songs.
The Fray ROCKS MY SOCKS. <33
Then went back to the Round Tables.
Hanern came to talk to us for a while.
Lol he's funny.

Then after he left, cherie convinced me to take the bus home,
so left sch at about 6.20pm.
I like walking around the school.
And the track.
I like the silence. The photoworthy sceneries.

It's just, pleasant.
And calming.
And it's better with a friend.
Thank you, Cherie!
(x

Came home and took a long bath.
Then, now, Online.
Hai. i don't want to do jobshadowing ppt slides!
Poop.

Realisation Day.

School was fine, i guess.
LA was okay, Last Samurai seems nice =/
IH was pretty good. I think History will be fun, but sucky to study.
Maths was, more like Admin Work for me.
All the yellow cards and Km money and what not.
Lunch was alright. Haha, us talking about Miss Swan and missing Avril =(
Tamil was a waste of time. Now i have to redo my project.
Ass.
Geography was good, with The Core. It's pretty interesting,
But the whole end-of-the-world thing is getting old.

After school, Sneha came over to 02. Cherie, Sneha & I chatted for a bit,
and headed to KAP ((: As usual. Haha, healthy cherie! and her Fish Mcdippers.
And amusing Sneha with her many stories.
I'm still quite disturbed by the one that we were all "Omg... wth" about.
I still can't believe ____ would do that. Oh well.
People surprise us,
be it pleasant or not.

I've been wanting gold chunky charm bracelets.
Prettaye converse shoes.
And a nice MYUK wallet.
Hmph.

Bling Bling $$

Swimming Pe Tomorrow. Get ready for stupid rushed showers, banging on toilet doors, falling asleep in school, and tired arms. But pretty fun. Haha (:


Disclaimer: Every you, in the next paragraph refers to someone else.

I think you know. And I realised i may just lose one of my good friends.

I think you're lying to me. I'm not a gossip tool. Stop it.

And i know i trusted the wrong person, to tell the one secret that i allowed myself to tell you. And now, you're going to use it against me. Great. Just, great.

Sorry to you.
I hope you know i'm talking to you.
I was vulnerable and needed someone to confide in.
You touched my heart.
And i had to share it with someone.
Because, it brought me to tears.
But i shared it with a few someones.
And i'm scared you'll be angry with me.
I hope since you forgave everyone else,
you'll do the same for me.
=/


I ain't got no wool.
Got that, P.I.M.P?

Fathers be good to your daughters


Girls become lovers who become mothers,
So mothers, be good to your daughters too.


Doing the reflection log was a little emotional.
I realised how much i was going to miss my cousin when she flies off to California in February. I realised how weird it would be, to visit my aunt's house, without my cousin to hug or to hit with a pillow or to play with piano with. (She's a good pianist) I don't know. I just don't like the thought of not getting to see her anymore, besides Christmas, or Deepavali.

I guess Job Shadowing her was a good choice.
One of the good few moments to treasure what's left.
Memorable too.

I guess we take what we have for granted. Alot.
Be it friends or family, or even life.

I hear news about people taking their lives.
Kind of sad, when they think the only answer to everything is Death.
From death, leads to others' depression, others' missing the person who has left.
And that yearning for someone to come back, isn't a good feeling.

You feel half of it, when you lose a good friend, or you fight with your loved one.
But when they're actually gone, it hurts.
It really does.

That's why, holding back what you feel, is not always the best idea.
You never know what tomorrow will bring,
You never know what today will become.

Sometimes, when it's too late,
there's no point in regretting for lost time.

Where did it all go wrong?
So tell me why,
I'm swimming against the tide
And i'm praying for a lifeline,
cos i'm losing you,
So tell me why,
You took care enough to try,
Are you giving up this fight?
I can't stand,
Won't Stand,
Losing you.

Fathers be good to your daughters


Girls become lovers who become mothers,
So mothers, be good to your daughters too.


Doing the reflection log was a little emotional.
I realised how much i was going to miss my cousin when she flies off to California in February. I realised how weird it would be, to visit my aunt's house, without my cousin to hug or to hit with a pillow or to play with piano with. (She's a good pianist) I don't know. I just don't like the thought of not getting to see her anymore, besides Christmas, or Deepavali.

I guess Job Shadowing her was a good choice.
One of the good few moments to treasure what's left.
Memorable too.

I guess we take what we have for granted. Alot.
Be it friends or family, or even life.

I hear news about people taking their lives.
Kind of sad, when they think the only answer to everything is Death.
From death, leads to others' depression, others' missing the person who has left.
And that yearning for someone to come back, isn't a good feeling.

You feel half of it, when you lose a good friend, or you fight with your loved one.
But when they're actually gone, it hurts.
It really does.

That's why, holding back what you feel, is not always the best idea.
You never know what tomorrow will bring,
You never know what today will become.

Sometimes, when it's too late,
there's no point in regretting for lost time.

Where did it all go wrong?
So tell me why,
I'm swimming against the tide
And i'm praying for a lifeline,
cos i'm losing you,
So tell me why,
You took care enough to try,
Are you giving up this fight?
I can't stand,
Won't Stand,
Losing you.

I'll stop the world and melt with you.

s
Back to School Blues.
Surprisingly, i got up on time, and felt rather awake. Met up with Rachel and went up to class. A very bad way to start the term, is to fall. And that's exactly what i did. I slipped and fell on my butt. Boy, it hurt. And it felt WEIRD too. Numb with hurt. Doesn't make sense does it? =/

IH was okay. The video was rather disturbing with the gory images, but besides that, i'm glad i'm a girl and i don't have to fight in wars.
Biology was okay with a new teacher called Mr Nah. Mrs foong =( We'll miss you! And i barely got anything besides Golgi Apparatus and the self destructing cells or something.
GC was as usual, with a few surprising news. And we have to clean our lockers poo.
Lunch was okay, hung out with Shu for a while and went back to class for Free Period. Did a little math, and stoned.
Maths was amusing, because now we get Mr Eng. ((: I'll miss Mr bean-shaped head Lim, he was so nice. =( "Take this as a new beginning. Start afresh"
How moving can Mr Eng get? Haha.
"I don't like aunties"
=P Very funny.
Physics was okay i guess. We have some retarded PBL. Avril's in my group! Come back soon dear! So its Avril, Eugene, Rachel, Yile & Me. Stupid father and CHILD, not son, you mcp eugene.

Went home with Theo.
And now i'm stoning.
I have to start on my tamil soon.
Type Type Type.
I redid my articles. And shall do reflection.
Shit lah. I'm so last minute.
I still have to do the job shadowing slides.
Rawr.

Bye

Everyday is a Sunday evening. I hate the feeling of Sundays. Even if i want to have fun, there's always the nagging feeling that i have to go back to school, in the next 24 hours. It especially sucks, when i've practically had, 6weeks of holidays.

So, school's starting. I haven't done most of my homework. Great.
And get well soon Avril! Even if i get it, i won't blame you.
I will get 2 weeks of holidays((:

I love Altern. Rock forever. Rock on!
And Emo too.
Though it makes me more Emo than i already am, but then, heck it. ;D

The sweetness will not be concerned with me.

[ Edit 1448 ]

Haha, it's highly amusing sometimes.
How one remains at the place where most memories come back, and those memories are unpleasant. What's even more amusing is that, people tend to stay after multiple times of hurt and betrayal because there was nowhere else to turn to.

I don't blame you for being this way.
But just don't really favour the idea of having to work with you sometimes.
Oh well.

I can't stand her, omg omg, she's so annoying, omgomg.
Whatever happened to that,I do not know and do not care.

Anyway on a totally different note, Boston Legal is pretty entertaining. And i'm finally watching episode 6 of one tree hill again. Took me so long. Argh.

The praisal i heard was sweet.
The advice without the price tag.

But you're too much,
for me to bear & accept.

You're the guilty pleasure,
I don't want to forget.

Let this blow over.
I don't revere guilt.

Let this fall out.
I rather have it unbuilt.

You spoke again. It seemed fine. But then, i doubted you, and your will.

Saturday morning sucks with some dudes fixing the flat's roof above. It's so annoying, and i'm pretty paranoid that he would drill into my room's ceiling. Like how gross is that! Anyway, i have to go out later in the middle of the afternoon to meet Miss Cheong (x I wish Cherie could come! and Rachel! =( Oh well.

Give me a chance to hold on.
Give me a chance to hold on.
Just give me something to hold on to.
It's so clear now, that you are all that i have.
I have no fear that you are all that i have.
<3

One of my favourite songs, from Snow Patrol.
It's a pretty good band, i think the genre is Alternative Rock.
My favourite genre for the longest time.
Though i've been listening to songs like Losing Grip by Avril L. and Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer. Commercialised songs. But Kiss Me is a nice song. (:

And i would like to thank Sneha for recommending that half jacket to me! I'm going to get it! WHOO.

I miss Pulau Ubin a little. Nature was good and somehow, the little trekking we did feels utterly different from walking around school and so on. I don't know, the mindset was just different and sometimes, different is good. Though it was muddy and a little tiring, I guess it's good to treasure the experience because sooner or later, the nature may have been destroyed to build some manmade structure over it. A horrible feeling if you think about it. The more we wish to build structures, the less nature there will be. We are going to die of lack of replenishment of Oxygen man. =/

And forget this whole row.
Just save your energy, for making up with me.

Grazed Knees/ Snow Patrol.

I'll update later at night. I think I'm so screwed for maths. Oh well.
And the timetable sucks big time. What no lunch on wednesdays?!
Bloody shitass.

[Edit 1432]

The little people passing me,
Leave by the back door.
The bigger ones beside me,
Remain in the corner seats.
And the biggest behind me,
Hold out their hands to catch me.

So, who will you be?
The sneaker out the door?
The outsider who is familiar?
Or the supporter with hope?


I predict a very long entry today. So beware. It may be longer than those blogging on Obs. It probably already is. Going off soon. I hope the skit will be nice to watch. ((:

And though i'm probably not the guilty party,
Somehow within me,
The guilt builds up, the unknown fear surfaces,
and leads me to say this.

I'm sorry.
Very.

[Edit 2203]
Was back at 8plus. Soul Far So Good was pretty okay i guess. Nice songs (: And Rachel was amusing me a whole lot. When she's a little frustrated, she tends to be comical. ;D Then Avril, Rach, and i went to Mos Burger to eat. I thnk we laughed really hard. With me using my nose to blow stupid things, and both of them tried too. Avril ended up blowing my hand -.-. And the mrt ride home with Rachel got me laughing like a mad girl. It was so amusing. Thanks Rachel!

Rachel wants me to use my brain fully.
This is what she said on the sms:

To use your brain fully, you should always ponder on every word and thought that you wish to express for a minimum of 30seconds per word. Afterwhich you will ponder over every sentence for a minimum of 60 seconds per sentence. Then the full paragraph must be reviewed for 90seconds and commited to memory!

Now tell me. Which freak does this?
If everyone talked this way, Oprah wouldn't earn a single cent.

Okay alert, spoiler for Oth. So don't read further if you don't want to know.

I just watched the last episode for One Tree Hill again. Sigh, i cried for Dan. I cannot believe myself, but it was sad. I guess if someone had tried to kill me, i would be furious at the person too. And Dan accused someone who was innocent, his own brother. It's rather sad. And Karen is pregnant, that's really sad but sweet. Dan sort of freaked me out with the "I will be there for you always". Rachel and Cooper are underwater living or dying or whatever. Rachel became one positively psycho bitch in a matter of minutes. And Nathan is left dying too. And Haley crying. And Brooke possibly pregnant. And Peyton, alone. And Lucas, trying to choose between girl friend and ex girlfriend/good friend and thinks Brooke is pregnant. And maybe Haley could be too. That would be so damn sad. I WANT NATHAN TO LIVE DAMN IT. But the actress as Rachel has been signed on for the next season... So.... Sigh.

We're done, and i wouldn't mind even if we never talk again in our lives.

Okay back from school.

I love Power 98 School Invasion FOREVER.
Gave me my first rock concert <333
RONIN ROCKS LAH.
besides the very horny lead singer.
The lead guitarist as we all know and agree, is HAWT.
Long queue of girls rushing to take a picture with him.
It's funny how NJC girls can be such groupies.
From nerds to bimbos.
From bimbos to bimbos with bigger egos.
Hoho, it's amusing.
(x

Black Maria is a rocking good song and sadly, i decided not to buy the cd. If my dad ever found it lying around, I'd be dead. With that naked lady and what not.
Anyway, will post some pictures later on. Wonderful Ronin! Avril Cherie and I took pics with Sean and Mr. Albino (sorry i don't know his name).

Then after Ronin, hung out in school for a while, got timetables and Cherie and I went off to KAP. Met rachel&wendy, then after a bit of talking, I'm now at home.

ROCK ON EVERYONE.
NJC HAS GOOD ROCKING SPIRIT.
DON'T THINK WRONG BTW.
ANYWAY, WE WILL BRING THE HOUSE DOWN.
WITH ALL THAT JUMPING.
HAHA.

I think it was very loud.
With i-don't-know-how-many-people jumping up and down.
And screaming like shit.
I kind of lost my voice.
But heck it. (x

That token of appreciation misplaced in such games of jealousy.
The pitiful sight of pathetic segregation.

Say no to involvement.
Say yes to walking on the pavements.
Off the main course.
Just by the side.

Pulau Ubin enrichment today was pretty enjoyable actually. Trekking 5km around that island was not exactly easy while the back of your shoe cuts into your skin. I was pretty annoyed but i shut up. The mud was all over and scarecrows are rather adorable. Especially interesting ones with weird palms sticking out. The German Girl Shrine wasn't all that big. So i don't get the Hoo-Haa. But i guess it's cool to see a house with 3 chairs placed, not for the mortals to sit on mind you. And the mosquito coil, turned out to be incense. Sorry for the random comment.

The dogs were an overload in the place. Pretty nervewrecking to have a dog's eyes laid on you while you walk. Stalker alert. Lol. And sharon was pretty good at flagging down that van. Though Mrs Tan thinks 13 dollars for a bus ride for 13 people is such a rip-off. Oh well

"SACRIFICE SACRIFICE" "I DON'T WANT TO BE THE LAST."
Haha random things i heard from walking in front.

The bus ride home was okay i guess. I got pretty stone.
Andy, you're amusing. And no, artificial cuts on your palm don't count towards palm reading!
And thanks for letting me listen to some nice music.

Orchard outing was fun. Chups and Avril got what they wanted.
PRETZELS ROCK ASS.
GO BUY PRETZELS FROM AUNTIE ANNE OR WHOEVER AT TAKA!
IT WAS SO DAMN AWESOME.
Cinnamon Raisin Pretzel <3 I couldn't eat too fast, and poor Cherie had to wait for me. Then we did random walking around and all. Today was a happy day. I guess.

Back to poetry.
Not so much.
But whatever.
Don't criticise.

You're my candy floss.
The sweetness I cherish.
I won’t bite, lest I lose you.

That sweet offer is tempting.
But too sweet, and it may kill me.

You're a gift disguised as a sin.
But the sweetness won't perish.

Job shadowed my cousin today (x
Pretty fun i guess.
Mr Gan was really nice!
And the Bedok Power Station is quite COOL if you ask me.
No pictures as of now because i'm lazy to load them up.

After jobshadowing,
my cousin and i went to Little India for some lunch,
and walked to Bugis from there.
Bought a belt and a couple of earrings.
And a pair of shorts.
HAHA my cousin bought them for me
though i didn't want them.
-.-'''
I WON'T WEAR IT ARH!

After bugis, was home.
I like jobshadowing.
I learnt alot about the Singapore Power system.
And about my cousin.

I feel kind of sad though. Okay, change that to a very sad Shanti. She's leaving for California (I know, awesome place xD) in February 2007. About 7-8 months left with her in Singapore. It'll be sad, seeing her go. But i guess it's good for her. After all that's happened to her in life, she deserves better. Much better. I lubbch euu Sangee! (:

You never know how much a person means to you, until you know they are going to go. Sooner or later. You never know how dependent you are on someone till you lose them. And when you do, it hits you like a bomb's just exploded in front of you. Seeing that dream on Monday may have actually meant something.

Everyone's walking out of the door they had just walked through to me.
An empty room surrounded by four walls, transparent but there.
Bounded by those walls, i see them through the transparency.
Display to the world, which is a display back to me.
Which one hurts more?
The world being a display to me.

Write a compo about a world that can affect you but you can't affect.

I think i get it now, after a long time.
People think it's impossible, but trust me on this.
It isn't.

Hello late emo night.
Alike last night.

You're a loophole hidden underneath the pile of bombastic words, and physical attractions.

Today was okay, i guess.
Went for Anime and Cutting Edge.
Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo aren't too bad shows.
And i actually think Mugen is cool.
Haha, man.

Then Cutting Edge was rather disturbing.
Gosh, the weird videos and short films.
Especially the Rabbit one.
Oh gosh, sadistic is the word.

After that, Avril, Cherie, Rachel and I went to town.
Heh, it was pretty fun watching Rachel get her hair cut.
And seeing Avril disturb the green dude (Aka Kelvin) time and time again.
He was like "My name is Kelvin" in the end.
Must have been pretty amused by Belle. ;D
And Rachel, you look nice!

Haircuts are scary though. Sometimes you really don't know what has happened to your hair.
With the lady/guy behind butchering off your hair, you never know what may go wrong.
Bad haircuts, haha, quite a few.The umbrella cut was the worst. I was 11? I think. Gosh, gross was what it was. I think about it now, and ... Nvm.

Then avril went off,
So the 3 of us walked around and in the end, went to Long John's to eat.
Talking about dreams was good though.
I like to know that i'm not the only one with horribly weird and disturbing dreams.

Are dreams reflections of what you think most about? Or what is laying at the back of your head, pushed away from scrutiny? I'd say the latter. Unless there's only one thing you think about. Then, that's that. Maybe if you're lucky enough that way, you won't have dreams. But science says that you have dreams every time you sleep. It's whether you are able to remember them or not.

Dreams can be scary. It feels like a day or two in there. And when you come out, a.k.a. wake up, it's been barely an hour and you fall back onto your pillow and dream another bunch of weird disconnected material. It's like an entirely different dimension in this subconscious state of mind. They do say that if you snore, you don't dream. I guess i do dream. But dreaming is supposedly healthy and what a normal person should do. If not, something is wrong with you. I'm just saying this off what i've read. They may not be entirely true.

Dreams may be lame. Stuff like magic always seems mediocre when you recount the dream. But it always manages to frighten you while you're in the dream. Some dreams make you do things aloud, like cry, laugh. And you realise you're actually doing it, when you wake up. Like i've cried because of certain dreams and i wake up with tears in my eyes. I guess the most amazing kind of dreams are those that predict or are out to send you a message. Some have the power to witness such things, while others shall stick to riding on horses in a Charmed episode or kicking a beetle's ass in the middle of nowhere or sitting in a classroom unable to finish your exam paper.

I'm surprised I haven't seen you in my dreams. Maybe it's because, you're something i think about almost everyday. Sad, don't you think? You're a complete waste of my time. But afterall, you were my highest priority. But you didn't realise it. Oh well. Your bad.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You really don't.

Hello world.

Today is a new day. Heh. I had this very very weird dream. Let me tell you about it.

First, something about our school. Canteen, walking towards the drinks stall, and walking here and there. Then suddenly i come out of school, Note: school is just one building this time, There is a park.

So the school building is next to a small little home. Side by side.
Along these two buildings, is a wooden pathway, and just by the middle of this long pathway, it leads upwards, (as in forward) to the exit, which is a small gate. So it forms like this "T"
But thing is, in the space of the T, there is water. Like a big pond, with a pathway to walk on.

Okay, so suddenly we cut to the scene at the little house. Inside, this man blows himself up, nuclear bomb, he's on fire, and he opens the door and walks out and he falls into the water, and then School's out. Kids are walking along the pathway to the little gate, to go home. Suddenly a kid trips and falls into the water. He is treading and trying to get out, then suddenly the nuclear bomb contents reaches his side of the water, and suddenly the kid blows up. I don't know what the content was, but something like if a human has contact with it, he or she will blow up.

It was pretty scary. Because many started to panic and started running. There were many explosions and people dying. The school caught fire and started to crumble within. I was there, viewing all of this. There were many trees around the area too. It was like a park. With water. With a school and that house next to it. Next thing i know, the house goes into flames and shoots up. Everything is in chaos. My family appears, and we run out through that gate. Then we are slowly running away.

Then i wake up.
Then i go back to sleep.

And the dream, has a sequel to it. The whole park and everything has been restored. But then, the waters are still dangerous. The place seems quite old. So maybe i was old too.

A young man is walking on that pathway and suddenly slips and falls into the water. Surprisingly he doesn't blow up. Then slowly he starts sinking in, and the next thing you know, explosion. So we realise that below the top layer of water, is the dangerous contents. And then we start saving people, getting them out. Man i don't get why i had this dream. It was quite scary. With all the explosions and so on. Then i woke up.

Then i slept again, and this was one ridiculous dream. OBS. HAHAHA. something about little kayaks. The kayak was small. It was funny. And it was light. Lol. I don't know what happened really.

(x
Okay i watched Scary Movie 3 today. Hilarious.
I shall go watch one tree hill soon.
:D

Today felt, good.
Family lunch, crapping with my dad & sister,
laughing with my mother, reading stupid magazines together.
Then i had one long nap,
and woke up to watch a Tamil movie with my parents.
That felt good.
Really good.

I guess when i say i'm alone,
I'm really not.
I have them, even if everything else seems like a failure.
Which personally, does.
My life's pretty much failing in every aspect.
I guess I'll have to keep family my priority.

But it sucked.
After the movie finished.
And everyone went to do their own stuff.
Reality struck, and I guess you can say, I'm pretty frightened.
Everything has changed.
When i go back to school, that will hit me further.
Maybe i'll go back to Square One.
I think that will be the case.
No one will be there.
And I'll be roaming around,
Looking for somewhere to belong.

I've lost you.
I've lost you.
I've lost you.
Oh please,
return to me.

oh god.
this is making me cry.
i'm an emokid.
but this does hurt.
i'm not crying for nothing.
oh god.

goodbye, beautiful day.
i must be on my way.

my way? i don't even know where the fuck i'm supposed to go anymore.
everyone has someone.
and i've just lost everyone i care about.

you think i'm whining / wallowing in self pity?
then, just fuck off, cos you're not helping.

For once, stop criticising me, like you're any better.
And maybe, change the way you think,
Because it's not always right.

Roar.

I would love kick your butt right now.
But I won't waste my energy,
Not like God lets me.
Hmph.

You were nice.
Now you're plain rude.

Stolen.

Today was another one of my boring days.
Woke up, uploaded One Tree Hill onto Youtube.
Bathed, ate, watched some One Tree Hill.
Caught some tv.
Ohh, That's So Raven was nice today.
(x haha, though its weird seeing love between Raven and Eddie.
I like her name, i realised.
Ladeedum, caught Wanna Come In? too.
Pretty lame show if you ask me.

while we seek mirth and beauty
and music light and gay
there are frail ones fainting at the door
though their voices are silent
their pleading looks will say oh,
hard times come again no more'tis a song…

a sigh of the weary hard times...
hard times come again no more
many days you have lingered around my cabin door
oh, hard times come again no more

'tis a sigh that is wafted across the troubled wave
'tis a wail that is heard upon the shore
'tis a dirge that is murmured around the lowly grave
oh, hard times come again no more

I'm not as evil as you think i am.
You overestimate that part of me.
Oh well, your bad.
You started this whole mess.
You can continue it if you want.
And i guess, you do.

As for you,
Remember the time we read that letter together?
Over the phone?
Tearing the letter open together,
Waiting to see what our future will become of.
I miss that.
I miss you.
Ah well, I guess you have moved on.
And you expect me to do so too.
Thing is, it's hard, especially in a time like this.

My mistake.
I'm sorry.
But you angered me.
And hurt me.
Can't blame me.
Right?